Disappointment

I thought you were better than this.
But you're just like everyone else.
And I know it's disappointing,
but I'm not going to let it get me down.

... its not that easy to make everyone happy, but at least do not disappoint them.

I've been tagged by Keddy!

Dear Keddy,
I'm so sorry cuz I'm gonna break this tag-chain. xD

So,
11 things about me:

1. Nescafe lover.
2. Black&white addicter.
3. Gadget-holic.
4. Jesus Christ's follower.
5. Ranau-ian. (ada ka ayat macam ni?)
6. Independent.
7. Canada lover.
8. Can keep my temper. but once it burst......
9. Future is all about I think about. *major focus in life*
10. Looove to travel.
11. Eat alot but....its like, I eat nothing.

Keddy tagged me for this questions;

For you, life is?
Life is a battle; "Keep on moving and fight,then you gonna win the battle"


What is your favorite quote. why ?

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars"

`Cuz at the time when all the things turns to be dark, I can see the brightest stars.

Your purpose of blogging?

Blogging? To kill my time xP

What a *very sweet thing you ever done for your parent?
A kiss. x)

Mother or father, which one you much closer to?

Both, but in a two different time duration.

How was you childhood ?
Sweet and sour :)

U got someone u really trust ? why her/him ?
"Really" trust? nope. I got a trust-issue.

Currently crush. ada? why him/her?

Yea. crush yg sudah jadi lover. xD

When was the last time you said i love you to your parent?

Months ago. *Im a bad daughter*

What present u wish u have on your incoming birthday?

I want something that..unexpected.

What do you think about this tagged?

Cool~ susah lagi dari sudoku. haha.

*Done. Sorry `cuz I took so long to reply Keddy!!!

Dear Mom,

I MISS YOU SO DAMN MUCH!

Late night

I'm busy. No time for blogging. I mean, *cannot lama2* >.<
5 weeks far from home. No homesick yet (sbb quite busy).
Well, I'm pissed off now. *Pissed of by the "orang2" yg berkenaan*
I don't have a problem in co-operating, or group work or whatsoever. I just have a problem with the peoples that I deal with.
Argh! Every semester need to be like this ka?
I hope there will be more INDIVIDUAL assignment.
That's better for me. yeah~ :)

And a BIG YESS, I'm so sad for this situation!! >.<""

"I met someone in the
weirdest way,
Then the someone become
a huge part of my life ..." :)

I just feels like wanna quote-ing recently.
New semester kinda lock-me-up especially Thursday.
I'm sorry Thursday, I mad at you like every week.
Not because I hate you, just that.. you are my busiest day ever.
You have no mercy on me.

Yea, Thursday-worstDay ... zzz~

Just so you know

For a second I lost my mind.
And I guess, same goes to you.
But I need to admit that I never felt like this before.
Not sure how to describe it by words.
It was a great feeling tho :)

...

Sometimes, I'm wondering..
How come certain people can share their problem with other people?
Why they can easily speak-it-out whenever they have a problem?
I mean, that's a healthy way. But how?
For me, I really couldn't say a word.
Even if I try, but still..something deep inside my heart will say to me that "Just keep it. You'll be all right soon".
I always listen the problems from others, but I never let them listen to mine.
The things that they always listen from me were my angryness.
It just not fair sometimes.
I don't know.. maybe 'sharing' is the hardest thing that I'll ever can do in my life.

Save one year time of study?

Open Registration System,
the new system to register for the upcoming semester.
Means, I can register whatever subjects that I wanna take on my second year!
I read the explanation about OR and I was like, what the hell?
It's first come first serve! I just scared if I didn't manage to register the subjects that I want to take.
But the thing that I like about this OR is, EARLY graduation!
Yes, EARLY. And now I'm thinking of graduate on 2013?
Hmm, I wanna create my shortcut. But ugh.. I dunno if it is easy.
Need a lot of focus and strategies.
Owh man, I hate the new system! It makes me think of graduate early, graduate early, and... gradute early. *Damn it*
I already calculated my remaining credit hours (minus Industrial Training) and I need to take 80 credit hours.
Haish, need to discuss with my mum first. If she give me a GREEN LIGHT, then I guess I can plan for my mission.
One more thing that I like about OR is student will get the opportunity to involve in student exchange program! wehee~ :D
But still, for now I doubt with my ability to graduate within two years instead of three years.
Is it possible for me to make it happen? T_T

Don't make me as your driver!

Last week, I almost crash my mum's car!
My God, it was few inches close to the tree!
And I was like nothing. I mean, I didn't trauma or what.
But I know now what's the different between the driver and the passenger.
Guess, being a passenger is two times scarier than being a driver.
That time, it was my second time driving from the town to my home.
I don't know why but I felt so-very-positive confident driving at 90km/h until I arrived to my home. (For a beginner, I shouldn't do that!)
I was with my mum that time. Then, almost reached my home but still 90km/h--!
I should speed down the car but I didn't!
And then my mum said "break!break!". But in my mind, I was like "I know what I'm doing".
Then I don't know what was exactly happened, but I managed stopped the car. (But, it was this close to the tree!)
*Damn it* The only thing that came up on my mind was, "okay, I screwed it. No more driving after this".
Actually, that was my gaining-trust-process. But I screwed it up! Very 'good' job. =.="
However, I went to the town today (again) with my mum.
Then the magic happened! She still trust me as a driver! wehee~
I drive, but I can't speed up over 50km/h. Gosh, it was super slow! argh!
What to do. Must follow what's the boss said.
Gain trust first, then I can do whatever I want!
*I'm not a good driver anyway* haha :D

" For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation,my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my deliverance and my honor; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us."

(Psalm 62:5-8)

Don't Let Me Go

I can see your shadow laying in the moonlight
I can feel your heartbeat playing on my right side
Every night I long for this, makin' up what I miss
I can hear you breathing letting out a sad sigh

You try so hard to hide your scars
Always on your guard

Don't, don't let me go
Don't make me hold on when you're not
Don't, don't turn away
What can I say so you won't
No don't, don't let me go...

I can see the skyline fading in the distance
Tears are comin' down
I'm trying just to make sense
I don't listen to the radio just the engine and the road
I wonder if my words are makin' any difference

I dream and then it seems to end
But always comes again

I'm comin' down
To where you're standing
I need you now or you'll be watchin'
Me hit the ground
With crash landing...

*Just.. Don't Let Me Go again. Will you?...

Fly with Fire

Today, exactly 1 month left for me to stay at my beloved hometown.

Feels like.. *malas* (because it will take almost half day to arrive!) T_T
But *rajin* also cuz my brain semakin berkarat. (syhhh)
However,the most important thing is I managed to...NO!my mum managed to bought the flight tickets which is not extremely expensive! (If its too expensive,seriously I'm gonna extend my holiday!)
But.. this time is different. Because I'm gonna use the "new" aircraft! :D

Honestly, I feel like kinda worried `cuz I'll fly using Kelip-Kelip. haha
The first thing that came out on my mind when my mum told me that I'm gonna use Firefly is.. HOW MUCH PER KG SHOULD I PAY FOR THE EXCESS BAGGAGE??
(I know that my luggage will overweight.If NOT, it must be a MAGIC!)
Then the second thing is.. is there any delicious food that will be serve during the flight? LOL.
Its not a big deal anyway.

I read the Firefly's acknowledgement.
They said;
Travel in comfort - Friendly cabin crew, YUMMY SNACKS and attractive merchandise.
Arrive at your destination COMFORTABLY and SAFELY.

Yes. The word SAFELY is the most important! :D

Well, just wait 1 month later to know how does it feel.
But for sure, I'm gonna sing the song by Owl City-Fireflies when its time to fly with FIREFLYY! haha.. (I'll sing silently while listen to that song)

You would not believe your eyes,
If ten million FIREFLIES,
Lit up the world as I fell asleep..
Cause they'd fill the open air,
and leave teardrops everywhere,
You think me rude,
But I would just stand and stare........
I'd like to make myself believe,
That planet Earth turns slowly,
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,

cause everything is never as it seems...........

"ORANGE is the new GREEN"

When I was a kid I used to
pray every night for
a new doll.
Then I realized that
the Lord
doesn't work that way so
I stole one and
asked
Him to forgive me :)

unBORED day

Bored-ness came to me today. Usually, I won't feel boring on Sunday.

But I don't know why it's kinda..like..macam.. BORING. =.="
So after I came back from Church, I grabbed my digital camera and "mundar-mandir" outside my house. (hoping I can snap something weird)
Well, no weird creature. T_T
So I just snapped whatever my heart asked me to snap.
Then I saw these kind of..ermm not flower. It looks like..just a plant maybe.

See, it just a plant right? But plant also have a name what. How about "Pine-apple"? Hell no! But it looks like a pine and pineapple.lol (I'm not a botanist)

This is a flower. (So skema =.=") Well, actually I wanna focus Mr. ANT that crawling on the flower. But when I snap! It already gone.

I was focusing on a type of flower when I heard the noise of something. I turned back then *tadaa* I saw the mayau(s) a.k.a cats was playing at their 'playground'.
Then suddenly this idea was *pop* on my mind. Why not I 'hire' the cats to be my Model of The Day? And yes! I made it! :D

Okay, this is the first one. This cat is a male. He is the strongest cat ever! He is half-blind, due to the accident past few months ago (damn that motorcyclist!). His left eyes was very very critical on that time. Then we went to a veterinarian. Now he's so damn fine! :D

Guess what? This is his sister! Also the strongest cat ever. Well, she gave birth of 5 kittens before but all already Rest In Peace! Very sad moment that time. They died one by one. BUT then she gave birth again! 3 kittens (one black, two twins). And...rest in peace again. Only one survive. But sadly, not the black one. T_T

Damn cute this momma cat. She liked it when I took her pictures. She was like "yea, I pose and you snap. Then later on, gimme my favorite food!

This is the "survivor kitten"!! The only kitten that survive. She's an extremely-hyperactive kitten. So hard to handle her when her play-mode is ON! When I snap this picture, I felt like she was saying "I'm a ninja! My body can change color. see" haha..

"I also can hide like a ninja!Owh shoot! The camera found me again! Gotta find somewhere else to hide!"

I was so excited taking the mayau(s)'s pictures, but suddenly there was a light! I was like..what the..I didn't on the flash mode! But it wasn't from my camera. It was a lightning! Then bam!bam!bam! (kinda like that laa) And opss, okay..heavy rain gonna hit me soon. Then I just go back into my house. Then suddenly (again) there was an idea that *pop* on my mind! Why not I snap something that have a meaning? hmm...

Nah, the theme of this picture is "Life's brief candle" (suka hati ja curi title poem org.haha). But, don't you think so?

This is The Keys Of Success in Life. Whoever want to success in life can borrow these keys from me. xD

This is a... Cotton Bud. And only.... Cotton Bud. haha.

And that's the story all about. Heavy rain.. heavy rain.. Gimme a very nice sleep. zzz

Past, Present, Future

People said that,
"the past will remains the past, never look back unless you are forced to do so."

And they also said that,
"just looking forward for the future, but never try to figure it out."

But the words that every people always said,
"everyday is a gift, that's why we called it present."

However, people always ignore the third one.
They are either stuck in their past, or too busy to figure out their future.
Is it normal?
Yah, I think its normal.
But one wont get a normal life.

For me, life is about moving on. Not too fast, and not too slow.
It also have no pause and stop button until God say its time for you to "quit".
Stuck in the past wont give you anything. Know that the time wont reverse itself for you.
And busy of figure out our own future is useless. Know that God holds your future.

But why some people let themself stuck in their past, and keep thinking of their future?
Hey, there's a lot of thing that you can do. Life is beautiful. Just keep going on what you've got now.
Yes, you'll experience the sadness, happiness, joy, and so on.
But what is life without all of that right?
You've got nothing to lose `cuz what you take is what you've got.

*true to say, future scare me*

Talking To The Moon

Bruno Mars' Talking to the moon.

*the song is just..beautiful :')

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back

My neighbors think I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I had
You're all I had

At night when the stars light up my room
I sit by myself

Talking to the moon
Tryin' to get to you
In hopes you're on the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool?
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I'm feeling like I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say I've gone mad
Yeah I've gone mad

But they don't know what I know
'cause when the sun goes down
Someone's talking back
Yeah, they're talking back

At night when the stars light up my room
I sit by myself

Talking to the moon
Tryin' to get to you
In hopes you're on the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool?
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon

Do you ever hear me calling?
'cause every night, I'm talking to the moon
Still tryin' to get to you

In hopes you're on the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool?
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away

I tried talking to the moon. It never answer me.
I talking to the God. He also never answer me. But He show me the way to find the answer.

Happy Birthday Alex Evans! :D

Who the hell is Alex Evans?
Haha! I believe that my best friends know him! (kan3? >_<)
I'm so into him since +/- 2009.
Now he turned 21! I mean, he just 21.
But he got so many talents!
He is not as famous as celebrity (I bet you never heard his name). But trust me, currently he got 407194 supporters on Facebook!
I admire him because of his talents.
He's a young photographer which he started taking his own photographs since he was about 14. He also a model, and a student of bachelor of fine arts!
Most important is, he is Canadian! :D
What I'm trying to say is he only 21 but he got his own career already (WHILE studying).
I'm 20. Even if I got such talent, I won't be able to have a chance to have my own career in such a young age.
Well, I live in MALAYSIA. I mean, M-A-L-A-Y-S-I-A. =.="
Anyway, Happy Birthday Alexandre! xD
*Got people said that his hair was inspired by Justin Bieber. It's totally untrue. I know Alex Evans before the existence of JB!*

What am I trying to say...

When is the time in our life where we could say that enough is enough? NEVER.
Even though we are in the hardest situation, we can't just stop the time.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Know that the time won't wait. And life is too short to regret for everything that had happened.
It is said that our life flashes before our eyes, just before we die. That is true, it's called LIFE.
People will die and born at anytime. And noticed that it just a part of the life's cycle.
We won't know when is our time to be part of it. But for sure we will see it happen around us.
Always grateful for being alive until today. And for those who have left us, we should not being sad, but glad because they had been there for a while.
God will take someone that we care just to show us how's the life should be, and want us to appreciate all the peoples and things around us.
Well, I wrote this because I realized that everything won't happen exactly as how we want it to be. Even though we've planned for our future, but we don't know how long we will stay in this world. No matter how long we gonna stay, the most important thing is appreciate the people around us, love our enemy. `Cuz someday, we will either gonna lose them, or leave them forever.

*the only thing we never get enough of is LOVE, and the only thing we never give enough of is LOVE*

44/127

Holiday almost reach the end! (yaa,hurry up habis)
But honestly, I just wanna stay at home. There are many reasons why I want and don't want the holiday finish ASAP! Only God know.

One more thing is.. I dunno why I couldn't trust the one that I should trust.
Gosh, I wanna blame that person. But I know that I can't.
And for sure, I don't wanna "re-do" my previous mistakes.
But this time, I really can't read the pathway. Its clueless!

::What's on your mind actually?:: T_T

Its WAVY and yahoo! :D

Recently.. I tried so hard to get the hell out of my house.
And nope, not runaway from home. Just that I'm sick of this endless holiday! (Wuu,the liar's statement) >.<
Whenever I have a chance to go out (even alone), I won't waste that "opportunities".
But suddenly I got these idea. Which is so so great to knock off the bored feeling deep deep deep inside my heart. (What the hell is that?)
The idea is... RUINING MY HAIR!
Its not really ruining actually. I just do that 'TRY & ERROR' method! :D
Well, mm.. my first try was kinda okay (la) but take a very long time! (because I'm still a beginner what)
*so sorry Hair.but I need to do this sometimes! (And I looked weird)*



Well, that was my first try. And I assume that its a WAVY hair and not CURLY (not yet).
Easy to do but there was a problem. MY HAIR CAN'T STAY "WAVY-ing" in a long period of time!! T_T
Need to find another way to make it stay. SPRAY?? xD

*seems like I won't cut YOU anymore. GOT BORED,GOT CHU!!*

...

"I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you,
How good you look when you smile,
How much I love your laugh,
How much I miss the last time we met,
And I think about you off and on,
Replaying pieces of our conversation,
Laughing at funny things that you said or did.
I've memorized your face and the way that you look at me.
I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine..
I wonder what will happen the next time we are together,
And even though neither of us know what the future holds,
I know one thing for sure;
You make me smile without even trying.."

Waiting

How long should I wait?
You such a "bad" thing that always happen to me.
Oowh SEMESTER II EXAM RESULT~
When will you come out?
They said its on 20/6. And some said its on the middle of August. Just, WHEN??? =.="

I can't wait for the new semester! With a new subjects to learn, wake up in the early morning, feel kinda lazy for class (which I always plan to skip but I failed!), then with a last minute study, double labs in a week, not enough sleep.. Gosh, I'm so so excited about that.
But who knows, I won't feel excited anymore when the time come. That time, I want holiday. :D

Maybe I should appreciate HOLIDAY. Waw, seems like I'm a such ungrateful people xD

Gonna be a long days to GO!

Hish..I didn't realize that I haven't update my blog for a 'decades'. (Actually I did realize it)
Well, I know it is quite late to say that I'M HAVING 4 MONTHS HOLIDAY!!!
But still, yahooo!
Update my blog now means my boring mood already switched ON!
Owh man, holiday just began like 26 days ago? Still have 3 months++!!

I hate holiday. I mean, I love holiday but not more than 2 months. I just.. I dunno what to do within this 3 months++!!
Hish.. what a hypocrite statement. I don't like holiday, BUT I need it! Gosh, shut up!
Aiya, seems like I'M SUPER DUPER BORED now..

And why YOU so far away from me? Ish3.. naaah, I miss you Cammy :3 *puppy eyes* (Hish, kalau ko TERbaca diam2 saja)

Alrite, thats it! Wishing Kotobian Tadau Tagazo Do Kaamatan & Gawai Dayak! Also, happy holiday to me! weheee~~

I'm okay :)

I'm so sad

This is my toughest week ever.

Two tests, three quizzes, three reports, preparing for three presentations for next week....and dealing with my feelings.

Luckily, the busyness sometimes made me forgot the sadness.

Well, I guess no one know that I'm dying a bit inside. `cuz I'm so good in faking smile.

Should I feel proud with that?

The Behaviour Of SUCCESS

I got these microbiology lecturer which she was so disappointed with us; her biotechnology students. Well, I do understand how and what she felt if there are 11 students failed microbiology test 1 and only 2 students got A-.

And I really love this lecturer. She encourage us and teach us with all her heart.

Not like any other lecturers, she take a good care of our performance in quizzes, tests and especially in final exam. I mean, she take a very very good care of us. No fake.

I felt so guilty. Dunno why. But she do make me feel like wanna struggle! And I will prove to her.

She posted this;

The behaviour of SUCCESS

*Be on time for class

*Attend every class

*Be nice

*Don't sleep in class

*No loud yawning

*Ask questions

*Complete your assignment on time

*Utilize online course tools

*Cell phones off or on vibrate

Thanx MISS LEE CHIN MEI. You are the "mother" of BIOLOGY.

And "I LOVE BACTERIA".

Upside Down

Nah, my semester 2 life kind of... upside down?

Suddenly busy like hell. But sometimes I'm free like heaven.

Believe it or not, I hate FREE! Because it "teach" me to become a crazy-lazy person ever!

But deep in my heart, I hate BUSY more than FREE. hahaha..

Well well well.. Lets see my "good-attitude".

Quiz= Didn't prepare anything.

Test= Last minutes study (I mean, VERY last minutes)

*bila la mau berubah ni*

And for final exam, I don't want that "didn't prepare anything+Last minute study"!!

I wanna get the very BEST results!

Haish.. whatever it is, I shouldn't waste my time by playing around for nothing.

Just like what my lecturer said "Be smart in exam,but be stupid during lecture" haha..

Well, its time for CHANGE!haha..just joking. I know that I can't change myself. It will always be me `cuz I can play so damn crazy, but I can be so damn struggle for study also.

Now I'm trying to prepare my WEAPONS

Back before 24 January 1999

God, tell him that...:

I miss him and I love him so much.

I still need his affection.

He was my best man ever and nothing can change that.

I always wish that I could have a chance to meet him, talk to him,play with him and hug him again.

I miss the day when he fulfill his promises even for a nonsense things.

I miss the "hantu sabun" games.

I miss the days where he fetch me to school by motorcycles.

Without him, its two times harder to grow up.

I really hate to fill up the documents which is, his part.

And last but not least, tell him that I'm his strong girl.

Everything that I do, I do it for myself, and its a gift for you dad. And don't you worry, I'll give mum a gift everyday by taking care of myself and always keep in touch with her.

Rest In Peace.We LOVE you.We MISS you

I guess?

"When there is no smile on your face, I get attracted because you look so cool.

But when you create a smile, I get more attracted because you look so charming.

And for the first time in my life, I get attracted to the same person for the third time!

I wonder if you notice that I..... had a c-r-u-s-h on you? xD"

Ugh... it was a crazy story ever.. lalalalaa~ xP

Malaysian Rocker

It was an honour to meet the Papa of Rock Ramli Sarip!

Cat + photocopy machine

I strongly wanna say this;

Cat+photocopy machine (human version)= copycat. Which mean? DISASTER!

So irritating!

I know exactly how's your style, your favorite colors, and even the "legs cover"

(sorry,I use my own words). But seems like you getting to be "me".

Owh God, you bought a new "stuff" exactly the same as mine.

3 words for you, SHAME-ON-YOU!! I repeat, SHAME-ON-YOU!!

Could you stick to your own style? Cuz stealing mine was so so so soo UNHEALTHY!

OMG, I might be a killer someday. x_x

I don't feel like proud with all of this thing. It is the

most annoying thing that happen in my life.

You really like to "copy" me?PLEASE don't play around me. Go play at the hell or somewhere that I won't see you.

I won't post this if it was not too obvious for what you've done.

Oh by the way, you also a FAKER! Congrats because you fulfill the characteristics of the kind of PERSON I HATE THE MOST in this world! FYI, you are on the top of the list!

Live With Your Own Style. It's a Crime to copy others'. Meaning to say, it's PIRACY!!!

2011

NO! I'm not wishing for new year xD

I felt that it is the same. Nothing changed. Well,

who ever feel the brand-new-life after the clock passed 1 second after midnight of 2010? I mean, year 2011 and 1 second? Haha..

It's just my opinion.

Anyway, its been a long long time I haven't post in this blog.

[I know right!]

Well, I passed my semester 1. (Hooray?) There is nothing to hooray about. Still have a long journey until I grade. However, there is nothing wrong if i wanna feel hooray.

Just hooray for my result. Got 3 pointer above was more than okay (since I never ever got above 3 before xD. I mean,during matriculation). Not having enough sleep also worth if the result was okay. I'm struggling for my scholarship actually. And yes, for my future career also! xP

Yesterday I heard that my course-mates was accident. OMG? Sem 2 just started! Pity for them. Dear Lutfi & Sam, get well soon. Especially for Sam, I hope he will get the hell out of ICU ASAP!!

Today is a 3rd day of class. And officially I'm section 04 student!

I hope that I can get along with my "new" class-mates. And double my effort so that I get enough sleep when the exam is coming xD. What a nonsense I'm talking about? I just kidding.. Enjoy my Uni lifeee everytime!! And here we go again!!

MerryChristmas-Happy"Belated"NewYear-WelcomeBackToUniversityLife